Reflective process can eliminate domestic violence by reducing
marital conflict between the husband and wife.
Before husbands and wives decide to wed they are exposed to
experiences in life which formulate their individual values. For
example, boys and girls are exposed to either different values
or expectations for men and women or one sided values and
expectations. One sided value development can results from the
influence of having only one parent in the
In many cases it is these differences in values that formulate
the foundation for marital conflict. Martial conflict is a
normal part of marriage. It is how we respond to marital
conflict that presents the bigger challenge. Persons who respond
to marital conflict by not resolving the root cause of the
conflict can have a build up of bitterness, hatred, and anger
which can lead to continued quarreling, uncontrolled anger,
divorce, violence, and abuse.
Marital conflict that results in violence and abuse is often
considered domestic violence. Domestic violence has many forms
aggression, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, controlling,
intimidation, neglect, and economic deprivation. The cycle for
domestic violence acts involves anticipation, coping, and then
recovering from the acts.
Since the cycle of domestic violence is precluded by how
individuals respond to conflict reflective practice can assist
the potential abuser and victim by developing positive coping
skills for marital conflict.
Husbands and wives can use the following process as a coping
skill for marital conflict: After the husband and wife have had
their disagreement or argument the husband and wife should
retreat to a quite place. Using a piece of paper, draw a line
down the middle of the paper. On the right side of the paper
write down what was said by the husband and the wife. You may
need more than one piece of paper to complete this coping
strategy. On the left side write down what you were thinking
about when you said something and when your spouse responded.
Now look on the left side and determine when you had the
opportunity to respond in a fashion that would have kept the
After using this coping strategy on
several occasions you will redevelop a thought process that
ensures that any difficult or distressful communication with
your spouse will remain positive and therefore avoid the
pitfalls associated with divorce, violence, and abuse.